Fight!

I just saw the preview for the Beastie Boys movie.



I mean, what the fuck?

The world has turned and left me here

April 5, 1994 was a Tuesday. I was sitting in the old school gym waiting for play practice to start. That year I was playing the lead in Black Angel. We were probably getting ready for our Area performance on our way to State.

I was going over my lines when Josh Cohagen walked in and told me Kurt Cobain killed himself. I immediately dismissed him. Kurt wouldn't do something like that. It must have been a hoax or publicity stunt. But then I started thinking, Kurt wouldn't do something like that either. This was before a lie could speed around the world in seconds. Josh saw it on TV. He wasn't one to spread base rumors. A story like that must have some backup!

But then Mr. Gonzalez started a run-through of the play so I stopped thinking about it for the moment.

I called you as soon as I got home.

me: Hey, it's Starr. Did Kurt Cobain kill himself?

you: I've been watching MTV all afternoon. I can't believe it.

or something like that. I went over to your house and watched MTV for the rest of the day and into the night.

Now I knew what my parents felt like when Kennedy killed himself.

I was also bummed because Nirvana was set to headline Lollapalooza that year. I drove down to Houston to visit my friend Kasi and see that show. I ran into Lara too, but I didn't get to talk to her much. All the bands were bumped up in the order they had been in. So Smashing Pumpkins moved to headliner with the Beastie Boys right before them. Which was still awesome. That was my first concert. Breeders and George Clinton also played and that's where I fell in love with Shonen Knife. I got dehydrated and almost passed out during the Pumpkins and later puked out the car window on I-10 on the way back to Kasi's place. So basically, I had a good time but I was really looking forward to seeing Nirvana.

I remember saying "Now the media is just going to turn him into a god." Then I cut out any image of him from Spin and Rolling Stone and stuck them on the wall behind my door at home. It's still up to this day, btw. I tore down every other poster except that collection. I remember you got a little annoyed when you saw it and questioned me on it. But I've always admitted to being a little hypocritical.

You were already listening to Nirvana before they broke. But I didn't get hooked until I saw them on Saturday Night Live.



I read later that G.E. Smith, SNL's Band Leader, was really impressed with Kurt's playing.



I'm sure I woke Mimi up that night. She never liked me watching SNL anyway. I would always take my VHS copy to youth group at the Methodist Church on Sundays to share.



I am always impressed with how Pat Smear went from the Germs, to Nirvana, to Foo Fighters (again). I hope I'm still rockin' at 51.



These are all I have now.

I always get a little mad when people dismiss him as a junkie rock star that killed himself. From what I've read, friends said he'd finally cured his stomach pains that had turned him to heroin in the first place. He felt confident of going to rehab. He was divorcing Courtney Love. He was doing a lot of non-suicidal things. But something strange happend that day and we may never know the real truth. So who knows where he would have gone with his career. What songs he would have written and played. Had he lived, who knows where you or I would be. What concert we would travel to on a 24-hour round trip? What song is playing when a new girl walks through the door.

I owe almost all my musical tastes to Nirvana. Why do I like the Beatles? Because Kurt Cobain did. He liked Zeppelin. So do I. Throw some Pixies in there. That's why I like Weezer so much. Rivers Cuomo is the biggest Nirvana fan. Ever. The first songs I learned on guitar were Nirvana. And when playing those songs, I did my best to perfect the Cobain Sway. I'm no Dead Head, but in the right mood, I will watch Nirvana concert videos online for hours on end. In fact, the 5 albums I'd take to a deserted island are some combination of the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pixies, Nirvana and Weezer! That's it. Why would I need to listen to anything else?

I could go on.

Trust me, I know what I'm doing

Let's talk about some music!

So I was glad to hear the other day that MCA drop the beat down on his cancer, but then doing some more research I found a statement from him that he's still recovering.

http://pitchfork.com/news/41139-beastie-boys-mca-beats-cancer/

This is another reason I'm in favor of health care reform. I wouldn't mind my taxes going to help the Beastie Boys live as long as they can.

And then I finally heard about Fight for Your Right Revisited. This is another reason I wish I was more successful and well known as an actor.



I still stand by my own casting choices of me as MCA, you as Ad Rock and Daniel as Mike D. Maybe at our 20 year reunion we can film our own Beasties video. Maybe weave it into a third Spanish video. (Friends reading this, feel free to ask me about the Spanish video next time you see me.) (Alan, we should get that transferred to the net soon.)

In other music news, I got a iTunes gift card for Christmas and decided to re-buy some albums that I either never had or only had on tape:


a) It's a Shame About Ray by The Lemonheads
I think this album is one of my biggest musical influences. I should have brought back the song book I own from Texas last I was there. The iTunes version included some acoustic demos of most of the songs. I still wish I had the tape my brother gave me of them playing in New Orleans back in the 90s from that album tour. One side was the Lemonheads and the other was Juliana Hatfield. I loved the contrast between the studio album and the live set because the albums has a heavy country feel with all the steel pedal fills throughout but live it was just drums, bass, and Evan with a guitar and distortion peddle. I love the moment of realization that Hannah & Gabi could also be a punk song and hearing Alison's Starting to Happen in all its glory. I'm sad I missed him on tour recently. I was keeping my eye on it but then something else came up that night.


b) Doubt by Jesus Jones
I forgot how fucking awesome this album is. I'm on a little Brit-rock/dance phase right now and this album certainly helps fuel that need. The iTunes version also included remixes of some of the more popular songs (Who? Where? Why?, Real Real Real, and International Bright Young Things). Now my question is, should I add Liquidizer?


c) Unbelievable by EMF
I only bought this one song from the Schubert Dip album. I listened to the other tracks and decided that I'd probably never want to listen to them. I like Lies but decided against it. But I did pick up the Ralph Jezzard mix of Unbelievable also which was always my favorite and church camp and band camp dances.
I almost bought Groovy Train by The Farm. Even though I really loved dancing to that song in 8th grade, it's really not that good. I mean it's fine, it just didn't have the same kick for me as it did then. And the rest of the album is pretty horrible. I was reading some reviews and it seems like they were just riding the current craze of Brit-dancepop that was everywhere during the early 90s. I'll just add them to my grooveshark favorites.


d)Mother Mother by Tracy Bonham
I don't know how well you remember this song but I'm sure if you heard it you'd go "oh yeah, that song." She's got that voice and angst of similar artists like Juliana, Courtney and Liz. But what I especially love about the song is when Tracy starts screaming "Every thing's fine!" I love nothing more than a woman screaming with a distortion filled backdrop of sound. I heard the song the last time I was in Texas driving around listening to satellite radio and instantly transported back in time.

In other music news, I have some friends in bands that I keep meaning to tell you about. I've done theater with the friends in these bands which proves a point that (maybe) all actors want to be rock stars and vice versus. I once had a conversation with Wally Pleasant after a show he played in Norman, OK and I told him that I always wanted to be a rock star and he told me he always wanted to be an actor. I told him we should make a movie where we trade places with each other and no one notices and live out that dream. But of course that never happened.

The Electric Mess: 60s style garage rock. They got some pretty awesome songs and some awesome musicians playing those songs. My friends at Piper McKenzie made a video for them that is also pretty awesome.

"She Has a Funny Walk" (official video) by THE ELECTRIC MESS from Piper McKenzie on Vimeo.

Ladycop: I'll call them sprawling prog-rock except easy to dance to. My friends at Charred Oak Films made a video for them that's pretty awesome. I was asked to be in it but I went to DC that weekend to visit my brother.

Ladycop "Idea Maker" from Charred Oak Films on Vimeo.

Supermajor: Excellent pop rock. As far as I know, none of my friends have made a video for them. That should be amended.

And in even more music news, I keep talking about getting a band together. A couple friends from the improv world play bass and drums and a buddy I've done some theater with plays guitar. I keep postponing when we're gonna jam. First I need to get an electric guitar. I regret giving my old Fender Squire to Croteau's kid years ago cause I don't think he's playing it or anything. But I've got my sites set on the Danelectro '63 guitar style.



Except the one I'm looking for has all the tuning pegs on the top of the head. My search continues.

But when that happens I'll be dusting off a lot of old songs with these guys including a healthy amount of Lemonheads and other obscure covers.

Celeb Sighting

On the subway the other day I saw Adam Duritz of Counting Crows.

I wanted to walk up to him and say "Fuck you Mr. Jones!" and punch him in the face.

But he got off on the next stop before I could think of an escape plan.

Twin Conspiracy

Just so you’re not confused:

Jeremy London was in Mallrats and Party of Five. He’s the one that was apparently kidnapped recently and survived to tell the tale.

His twin brother Jason London was in Dazed and Confused and Out Cold. Jason is a bit skeptical of his brother’s story.

But according to IMDB they both did episodes of Outer Limits and 7th Heaven. So maybe they are the same person and there’s more to this story than meets the eye.

Ooooo Baby! Don't You Want Me?

My friend Tony Smith from Lindale that I met at band camp at SFA has a brother named Todd. Below is Todd's band he had in college at UT in the late 90s and this is a clip of them singing my old song Ooo Baby, the one you co-wrote with me. Todd's the one on the far left playing the Les Paul.



Makes me still wish I had my electric.

worm

At my current temp job I get a lot of free books. I need to buy a new book shelf in fact.

One of my favorite finds is Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. It came out in 1990 and after reading I was mad at myself that I hadn't discovered it before. Did the library in Overton not carry it? Did Paul, Graham or Chase not know about it? Questions that have no answers. I recommend picking it up if you haven't already read it.

I recently finished I Was Amelia Earhart by Jane Mendelsohn. It's a fictional, romantic take on what could have happened to her and her navigator Fred Noonan on the flight where they disappeared over the Pacific. When I found it at work I noticed that they previous reader had folded the corners of certain pages as a book mark. I cursed their name. I hate when people do that. I unfolded the corners but the damage was done. Get a fucking book mark. Memorize the page or something.

With all the new technologies coming out, I like to read a physical copy of a book. Plus I'm always hoping a cute girl on the subway sees my old-fashionedness and walks up to me. Only in dreams.

Smoke Monster

I'm all about weird phenomenon. I always hoped that that was what I was. There was that night when we were about to head out to Tyler or Longview and because of the way I was dressed my grandmother asked:

Mimi: (laughing) Starr, Why did you pick us?

Starr: What?

Mimi: When you were flying around up in the sky why did you pick this family?

Starr: (confused) I don't know. Alright bye.

[Starr and Alan leave]

I remember sitting in the car and asking you if she had just accidentally revealed that I'm the alien child that I always thought I was? Later I realized that based on her belief system she meant that before being born I was an angel flying around Heaven looking for a cool family to hangout with. The idea of originating as an ethereal angel was a wicked idea but the hard fact was that I was merely human (although I now find this to be quite miraculous as well).

But back to weird phenomenon.

The other day I had a little crisis. I got so stressed I smelled like campfire smoke. Like the kind of scent that you get after a weekend long Boy Scout campout. That smell that you have to wash out of your clothes. Except for a flannel shirt. You just air those out so you keep that good, smokey essence. And it wasn't like a cigarette smoke smell, like I'd been at some bar in Longview listening to Myra Mayns. It was that good wood smell from the trees and leaves we'd burn in the fires. This was the most stressed I had been in a long time, maybe ever. The people around me at work smelled it as soon as I walked in the room. I had just walked two blocks from the point of my stress. No buildings, or gutter trash were on fire out in the street. There was maybe the smoke coming from a hot dog cart on the way back, but this wasn't just in my clothes from briefly walking through dissipating smoke. It was sweating out of my skin. I went to the bathroom and and washed my head and arms. Took some deep breaths and went back to work. A very short time later the smokey smell went away.

So I started thinking. I knew what caused the stress. I did. I let myself get worked up and let the flood gates open. It was business with a mega corporation that sparked it. I controlled it very well since I was in a place of business and didn't yell or scream even as I walked back to work. And then I thought I must have been pretty pissed to start sweating out something that smells like smoke. Like some defense mechanism written into my genes from eons of evolution. So what would happen if I got that mad again or even angrier? Would I actually start smoking? And if so, could I get even more upset so that I actually catch fire?

I will not try to prove this idea right (or wrong). I mustn't. But oh, if I could...

Weird is the word I use when I can't think of anything else

This city can be weird sometimes. Or maybe it's me that's weird. Maybe we're both normal and weird things just happen to us. Maybe there's nothing weird about any of it.

My friend Kent had a photo opening last month. I attended. It was a beautiful night. His photos are great. Well lit and framed. And calm like the ocean on fire. I won my favorite in the raffle that night. It will hang in my kitchen.



What is weird about the city is the MTA's attempt at structural enhancements in the subway.



I was really late to the game concerning lolcats. But recently I've been more into them. They combine my two favorite things: cats and gonzo journalism.



My friend Laura gave me that one.

Sometimes weird can be dangerous. Like at my temp job.



But I've always thought weird was cool.



Starr

I heart me

How I spent Valentine's Day.

I woke up. Made a good breakfast. Bagel with cream cheese, eggs, bacon, oatmeal, coffee sweetened with brown sugar and an orange.

Saw a friend's show.



Then I went home.

Then I went to a show at the Ontological-Hysteric Theater by The Theatre of the Two-Headed Calf. I liked it. I would like to work with them someday.

Then I went to Finnerty's just a few blocks away. They used to have a shot of whiskey and a PBR tall-boy for $6 but not anymore. I texted my friend Eric who I calculated was probably the only guy I seem to know right now that is not in a relationship. He was out with some other friends of ours celebrating a birthday. So I went there and hung out, played pool, watched the Olympics and drank Guinness.

This weekend I also painted my nails black and was wearing eyeliner.

About Time

So I'm finally writing a post to make good on my promise to update this blog and keep Alan entertained from thousands of miles away. Making Alan laugh was my only goal in high school because it made me laugh too. So with all the years I built up laughing with him I hope to break even with all the years I've been killing during my time in NYC.

So here is my State of Starr address: a year ago I quit my perm day job. I hated it. It was sucking the life out of me. I hated my boss and I hated myself. The only thing keeping me sane was the theatre I'm always doing. So I leaped out of that into two weeks of sweat inducing voluntary unemployment until some temp jobs, carpentry and lighting jobs started coming in. And somehow I survived in one of the worst economic times of this century. I lost weight. 30 lbs. Even with my moderate to heavy to drinking.

Losing my dad was the only thing that really took its toll on me. 61. Stroke. A man I'd only known 12 years...due to family history. Loss. But I'm getting to know my brothers better and that whole side of the family that I never met before. New aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and a new grandmother. Even a set of extended family I'm not related to...due to family history.

Everything is going to be ok.



I saw this at a museum in DC the last time I visited Cody and Jean.

And Alan, I'm going to be an uncle again. They are having a baby due in July-ish.

The State of Starr is good.

Only in Dreams...

Woke up this morning while sleeping hard. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of a dream, it makes it much harder to wake up, and makes me much more tired throughout the day. Today was one of those days.

The upside of this is that you usually remember what you were dreaming, because it's so fresh in your mind (although you usually don't get to know how the dream ends). This morning's episode featured my boss now...partner/owner of the arch firm I work for...interviewing none other than Starr himself, for a job at my firm. Don't remember much, but I remember just stressing over it when I saw my boss heading into the conference room with a pad of paper, smiling...and I thought to myself "wow, he must have the wrong impression if he thinks Starr is qualified for THIS job..." (no offense Starr...just not exactly your line of work). Not really sure why I cared one way or another, but I guess I was worried that some underqualified guy interviewing for a job as an architect...and wearing combat boots...would reflect poorly on me.

Oh well...hope you got the job, Starr.

Goin' Back to Cali

In the words of the great James Todd Smith... I'm goin' back to Cali. Ok so I've never been before, but I am going this week. It's an in-law family trip out there, and I'll be flying out with Erica Thursday night, then coming back "early" on Tuesday (she stays a full week until the next Thursday). We're hoping to do Disneyland for a day, definitely spend some time on the beach (staying 2 blocks away), and we'll see what else. We are staying in Carlsbad, CA, which is about 30 miles north of San Diego.
Now, to get my bag and SPF 300 sunscreen packed.

...she said... she liked... the o-cean.

a classic...reissued.

Listen to all 36 tracks... including 16 b-sides and rarities
at checkyourhead.beastieboys.com

i'm posting from gmail....i hope.

ok let's test this thingy out. apparently you can post to the blog from a "secret" email address, instead of having to log in and post from the dashboard, etc. i'm truly amazed how far we've come recently...although i'm still not sure what twitter is or why anyone would even want to participate. i also remember back to freshman year of college (94-95) when i used to carry around the email addresses of EVERYONE i knew that had email on a slip of paper about the size of a receipt. oh those were simpler times.

anyway, enough ramblin'....i'm off to study for arch test #8 (out of 9), but thought i'd try this feature out.

Safer: New York or Denver

I haven't compared statistics but does Denver have its own condom? And it's free!

Alan is married so he probably dosen't know the answer to this question. 

I know Overton doesn't have one but I wonder what it would look like. Alan, please design one on photoshop and we'll propose it to the city council.

So who the hell was Everett, and what was the Bunker, anyway?

Starr: I don't remember much about this man. But he lived in our hometown. He drove around in a white car with his name labeled on it. I think he flipped Alan the bird once.

He also had a self-built bunker down by a creek on the road we called Dead Man's Curve, with a sign that literally said "Everett's Bunker U.S.A.". Sometimes when Alan and I were cruising around town we would drive by this bunker. One fateful night we drove by and I rolled down the window and yelled "Make me a love potion, Everett!" I think I freaked Alan out a bit. But overall he found it funny. After that night everytime we drove by Everett's Bunker I yelled some other stupid thing. And anytime I'm visiting Overton I (and sometimes Al if we're both home at the same time) drive by and yell something new. Except the last time I tried the road was closed.

I don't know if he was ever down there when we would drive by but I always hoped he heard me.

Helloooooooooo Brooklyn!

Welcome to our new blog, Starr. Enjoy.

Let me know what ideas you have for layout/graphics/style/sections/anything. Otherwise, it's an open canvas, and we'll see where it takes us.

Have fun.

Love,
Al